Transformers Prime: Return of the Twins
by ThemSoundWaves
Summary: Life on the base is about to get a bit more hectic when the arrival of an escape pod comes crashing at their doorstep, carrying two of Cybertrons most annoying mechs: The twins. Will Ratchet survive? [Random fic set in no particular time, Made for fun and laughs. Short chapters.]
1. Chapter 1

Life on the base is about to get a bit more hectic when the arrival of an escape pod comes crashing at their doorstep, carrying two of Cybertrons most annoying mechs: The twins. Will Ratchet survive? [Random fic set in no particular time, Made for fun and laughs. Short chapters.]

**I do not own transformers or the characters** There will be some bold language here, just a warning in advance. Each chapter should not exceede 1000 words, this is a story for my muse. Mostly for laughs… and to torture ratchet :3 I hope you all enjoy!

**Got an idea about the twins you've always wanted to see written out? Have a scene in your head you don't have the creativity to put into words? I'm now accepting ideas for custom chapters! Let me hear some scenes you'd like to see, I will accept one suggestion after each chapter, credit will be given at the start, Lets give some life to those thoughts!**

Just a regular, normal day at the Autobot base.

A regular… relaxing day. Ratchet sat in his medical corner, tapping away at some data readings on his recipe for synthetic energon. The children were at school, Bumblebee and Arcee were out doing whatever Bumblebee and Arcee did in their spare time, Bulkhead was recharging, Optimus was standing in his usual spot, staring at at his usual screen, face placid and focused.

It was a great day to get some work done.

Twenty minutes later, the medic was still nasal ridge deep in his readings, optics unfocused, body stiff, He couldve gone another hour like this before needing to stretch. Could have, being the key term, He would've had the chance to, because Optimus's makeshift computer system chose then to scream off in a series of panicked beeping. Ratchet looked up, quieting a grumble of annoyance as he watched his leader review the alert.

Ratchet got up, setting his datapad down, out of reach of tiny mushy human arms. He slowly made his way to Optimus, each step with purpose. "Is everything alright?" Ratchet began, Optimus Prime turned, looking upon him with his inspiring blue optics. "Yes." He began, returning to look at the screen. "it appears we have an escape pod inbound, carrying a distress beckon." He finished, Ratchet raised a silver optic ridge, looking at said screen, but he could gather nothing from the white and red outter shell of the pod.

"Should I go wake Bulkhead?" The medic continued, already stepping to make the arrangements, Optimus, however, raised a hand. "No need to wake him from his earned rest." He replied. "The pod seams to be on a favorable trajectory. It should land just a few miles from here. I will retrieve the new autobot. Remain here and safeguard the base." Optimus punched in a few numbers to the space bridge, the green light lit up the dull room, and within an instant, Optimus was lost to the mesmerizing swirls.

Ratchet prepared the bay for his return, Had he known who would follow his leader through the bridge, He may not have waited for them. If only he had known. Merely a few moments later, Optimus comm'd him for retrieval. Ratchet pulled the latch, ready to welcome whomever came through.

First, was Optimus, standing tall, walking with his usual saunter. Two forms followed, one lumbering, the other strutting. Yellow and red, He could already hear their voices, before the blue glow had time leave and reveal them truthfully.

"Its disgusting. This place is disgusting. Dirt? Is this dirt on my legs?" A smooth, annoyed voice….

"Its also on your face too. Like all over it."

"Where?"

"Like all over it."

the green light died out, the bright white lights of the base shined upon the two dirty, injured autobots, clearly having gotten their wounds from their landing on earth. Ratchets optics focused, and unfocused at least three times, His legs refused to carry him anywhere, all he could do was stand there and stare at the two demons before him.

"What do you mean all over it?" Sunstreaker demanded, stopping dead in his tracks to glare at his brother, who stood there with his arms crossed. "I mean, all over it." Sideswipe replied cooly. "Your covered in dirt, get over it."

"I wouldn't be covered in dirt if SOMEONE knew how to drive a pod..." Sunstreaker growled, taking a threatning step foreword, Sideswipe held his ground, a smirk barely visable on his face. Optimus walked past the twins, a straight look hammered onto his face, though his optics betrayed him: He'd been there for the whole thing.

"You cant drive an escape pod, retard, you give it a destination and it goes on its own~" Ratchet found his footing, he swerved on his heels and began towards the back room, to the wash racks, to his berth room, to the relics, anywhere, anywhere was better then here.

"Ratchet?" Optimus's voice stopped him, and the medics shoulders rose. "Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are in need of medical attention. They sustained minor injuries during their descend."

"Ratchet?!" Sideswipes perky voice nearly echoed down the hallway the medic almost escaped down. His shoulders rose higher, and his face seamed to scrunch up involuntarily, as if he'd smelt something sour. Before he could take another step, red arms wrapped around him from behind. "I thought you'd be dead by now! Sunny, look, its Ratchet."

"I see him." Sunstreker replied evenly. Ratchet shrugged away the invading arms, and turned to address the banes of his existence. He didn't even have words, he just opened his mouth, closed it, and walked back to his medical corner.

Just a regular day…

The last one he'd ever have.


	2. Chapter 2

Ratchet didn't need to motion for the twins to come over, They followed him regardless. He gestured for them to take a seat on the single medical berth they had.

"I think my arm is broken." Sideswipe said, lifting his arm, Ratchet gave him a look, a deep hatred of life shimmering in his optics, he sighed bitterly and began checking out the red Autobots arm. "Its not broken."

"It hurts though." Ratchets eye roll was uncontrolled while he ran a medical scanner over the mech, it beeped with its reply."But its not broken. You're fine. You have some cuts but they can be wielded. Here." Ratchet held out a medical wielder to the twin, who took it and stared at it as if it was a hundred question worksheet. Ratchet blinked. "If you tell me you dont know how to use it I'm going to strangle you." Something flashed in the twins optics, he looked up at the older medic, unicron making himself known in the others smirk. "I don't know how to use it." He said, voice suggestive. Ratchets nose curled.

"You're disgusting." Sunstreaker said, picking at some chipped paint, trying to mark it into a shape that went with the rest of him, but it failed horribly. Ratchet left Sideswipe to his own devices, while he walked up to Sunstreaker, eyeing him. "Whats wrong with you?" Sunstreaker gestured to himself.

"I'm dirty, I'm covered in my own energon, Your the medic, figure it out."

"Lose the sass." Ratchet replied, he knelt down and began running a scanner over him, it was a lazy enough device that would tell him anything major that would be wrong. When the scan was finished, it beeped out at him, letting him know that, other then the same minor mechflesh wounds as his brother, he was healthy.

"You're fine." He repeated, the same tone he'd used for his twin. "Your both fine. Now go shower or something." He dismissed them with a wave of his hand, He turned around to close the distance to his datapad expecting them to listen, as every autobot did. After a few moments of silence, he realized neither of them have moved.

Ratchet looked over his shoulder at them, Sunstreaker was just staring at the medic, a blank look in his optics, and Sideswipe was holding the welder so close to his face it nearly merged with it, as he tried to figure out how to work it.

"Primus help me." he muttered. His prayers were answered, the eching footsteps of his leder sounded as Optimus Prime made his way to his corner." Sideswipe, Sunstreaker." He addressed, stopping before them. "As you are new to this world, it would be paramount for you to understand the rules and boundries that we must follow to keep our existence unknown to the majority of the human population."

Sideswipe looked up, optic ridges bent, the wielder's end was facing his chassis, he didn't see Sunstreaker grinning behind him. "Human?" He began, but got no further, Sunstreaker leapt foreword, and slammed the activate button on the tool in the red twins hand, Sideswipe let out a shrill screech when the red hot flames streaked out and burned a small hole in his armor. Sunstreaker, of course, bursted out in laughter.

Optimus pursed his lips, clearly trying to ignore the fact that he was interrupted.

"The frag is wrong with you?!" Sideswipe snapped, holding out the tool, ready to give Sunstreaker equal treatment. Ratchet snagged it out of his servos before he could, though, leaving him threat-less.

"Humans are the life forms that inhabit this planet." Optimus continued. "They are an intelligent race of organics~"

"I'm going to take a shower." Sunstreaker barked out, sliding off the berth. "Take notes for me Sides." He slapped sideswipes shoulder roughly, and bound down the hall, he stopped though, and turned. "Its down here right?" he asked. "Can only assume, this place is tiny as frack, Should really get more space. To many mechs cramped into one spot, a base of festering spikes, its uncomfortable." He didn't wait for an answer, just turned and disappeared down the long hall.

Optimus stood there, almost glaring at the spot he'd gone. "We can continue this conversation when you and your brother are more rested." he concluded, looking down at sideswipe, who smiled at the attention. "There is a spare room past the wash racks you and your brother can share." he almost finished, then added, with a warning tone. "That should be the only berthroom you and Sunstreaker enter, be mindful of the others personal space." Sideswipe whipped up his arm in a stiff salute. He got up, and scrambled away.

Ratchet came to his leaders side. They stood there quietly, Ratchet couldn't help but wonder if he regretted his decision already.

"That could have been worse." Optimus voiced softly. Ratchet nodded in agreement. Lifting his datapad off the counter, ready to dive back into his work. "It'll get worse. Trust me." Ratchet replied, to which, Optimus turned to him, lips set firmly in that trademark Optimus Prime face, he opened his mouth, and something completely unexpected left his lip plates. "At least now we can use the brig." He said, amusement running deep in his voice. Ratchet smirked. "Now all we need is Prowl."


	3. Chapter 3

**Got an idea about the twins you've always wanted to see written out? Have a scene in your head you don't have the creativity to put into words? I'm now accepting ideas for custom chapters! Let me hear some scenes you'd like to see, I will accept one suggestion after each chapter, credit will be given at the start, Lets give some life to those thoughts!**

By the time Ratchet was able to get back to his formulas, it was nearing_ that _time. Yes, _that time_, that dreaded time of day that the medic always drew a sweat over.. Three pm. To make maters worse, It was Friday. He couldn't even focus on his work, by now, every four seconds his optics would flick to the digital clock on his computers screen, Two thirty… Two forty five… Two fifty nine…three sets of engines revved loudly, breaking the silence the orange autobot thoroughly enjoyed, he couldn't help but look up at the tunneled entrance, as headlights illuminated the walls, getting bigger, getting brighter. Then, they were here.

Bumblebee, Bulkhead and Arcee slid to a stop in a triangle pattern, Jack slipped off the femmes back, setting down his helmet, the other two children filtered out of their respective Autobots, and they all transformed, Optimus greeted them warmly as he always did, Ratchet just grunted. "Afternoon to you too doc bot." Miko said cheerfully, bouncing around to the front side of Bulkhead who stretched out his sore struts from idling in the parkinglot so long. Ratchet grunted again, Arcee looked over to him, smiling, clearly amused. "What, Did the latest data on project synthen not work out for you?" She questioned.

"He probably didnt get enough recharge." Miko announced, taking the stairs up to their little corner two at a time, Ratchet scoffed at that. "No, Its much worse." He replied. Bumblebee whirled something quietly to Raf, who snickered, the medic didn't catch it, it was too quiet. He didn't need to elaborate, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe made themselves known, by swinging violently around the corner in their altmodes. "Did I hear a femme?" Sideswipe blurted, transforming up alongside his brother. It was deathly silent, Miko was standing there on the steps, jaw wide. "Oh primus." Arcee began. "Oh, its just you." Sideswipe continued, a disappointed look plastered across his face.

"Whats wrong with me?" the blue autobot retorted rudely, causing a raised eyebrow from Jack. Sideswipes face flushed dark gray. "N-noting, Right Sunny?" He looked to the yellow frontliner, who was standing so still, he looked frozen. His optics were bright, and he was looking right at Miko, his face twisted with disgust. "Sunny?" Sideswipe questioned, Sunstreaker blinked, shifting, he whipped out his blaster and aimed it at the group of children. This action caused the entire base to erupt, Bulkhead slid before the three of them, drawing his own weapons, while Arcee and Bumblebee took several steps, their own weapons drawn.

"What are those?!" Sunstreaker cried, nervously jerking his weapon. Bulkhead took a threatning step foreword. "Put the weapon down Sunstreaker." He warned with a growl, Sunstreakers optics flicked to him, bright with panick. "What? No! We have an infestation, Oh primus, its so gross!" Optimus stepped foreword, giving the twin a heated glare. "Hey! Im not gross!" Miko began, pigtails bouncing. "I just showered before school." She looked to Jack. "Do I smell?" Jack leaned towards her, whiffing. "Nope." he replied. "You're good."

"These are humans, Sunstreaker." Optimus said sternly, the twin slowly, but reluctantly lowered his gun. "They are the lifeforms that inhabit this planet, they will not harm you." Sunstreakers lower lip quivered ever so slightly, Sideswipe reached out and gently pushed his blasters barrel down to the floor, Sunstreaker jerked away from him though, letting the weapon retreat back into its housing. "We have to live with them?" That was it, no other questions, that was the only question that came across the yellow autobots processor. His question was answered with a pointed borderline aggressive look from the autobot leader.

Miko bound over, Bulkhead stepped before her for a single moment before he let her pass, seaming reluctant to let her meet the two terror twins… though, that would be unavoidable, he kept a close optic on his charge as she got closer. Sideswipe stood his ground, but Sunstreaker took several steps back as she approached. Miko grinned at this, she stopped a few feet away, just quietly inspecting them. Sideswipe did the same, staring at her hair in some kind of trance, the yellow autobot refused to look at her, but when he did… the rambunctious little woman took one big threatning stomp in his direction, which caused Sunstreaker to jolt further backwords. She broke out laughing, clearly enjoying the fact that he was afraid of her. There was a glint in her eyes, something sinister. "Oh this is gonna be fun." She said.


	4. Chapter 4

Both Sunstreaker and Sideswipe secretly watched the medic from the children's gamer area, their optics darting in his direction, then back to staring with too much focus at the screen while the humans showed the two of them how to play their version of video games. Sideswipe was actually digging it.

"Don't get me wrong, it's good. But it ain't ever gonna compare to Turbo Thrash on the old Hebris 980. Remember those days Sunny?" Sunstreaker nodded, nervousness written on his face. "For being nearly eighteen vorns old, the graphics still outmatch the human... Blobs you call pixels." The yellow autobot replied a little heatedly. Rafael casted an almost hateful glance back at him, Sunstreaker, ever oblivious, noticed nothing.

Sideswipe was too fidgety Sunstreaker too still, the entire base was just a decibel too quiet after Sunstreakers last remark. They let it hang, Rafael was tapping away at the controller effortlessly, skating through a level with ease.

There was a clash, witch drew the twins attention to Ratchet, who was rummaging, almost angrily, through multiple drawers in his medical corner, the twins watched him do this for five minutes straight, he hit the same spot once or twice on his aggravated journey, all the while cursing himself for his forgetfulness. And then... it came. Ratchet straightened, popping his spinal strut in place with a back arching stretch. Then, he announced loudly, calmly.

"Has anyone seen my asinulator?"

Sunstreaker made a choking noise, hearing the word out of his mouth, after imagining it so many times. It made this moment even better, Sideswipe tried to subtly slap his shoulder, but it was not subtle, the medic was looking right at him. The red foot soldier answered, without skipping a beat. "No."

Ratchet looked at him, then to Sunstreaker, then back to Sideswipe. His optics narrowing each time.

"No." Sunstreaker mirrored, more quietly. Ratchets end-glare could've killed. There was a quiet standoff, the wash rack could've started across the base, they could've hear it. Four seconds. Four brave seconds, that all the twins could hold for. Sideswipe broke the silence by letting out the loudest gawf of a failed suppressed laugh, he ended up spitting all over the three children on the couch before him. Sunstreaker turned and immediately ushered himself out of the main room at this, all the while smirking, hardly holding himself together.

"Watch it!" Miko barked, stomping away to grab a towel so the three of them could wipe up Sideswipes 'mouth drops' "HEY!" Ratchet yelled after Sunstreaker, when he quickly ducked out of aim, the medics anger turned to Sideswipe. "Where is my Asinulator?"

"Your ass in what'a'nator?" Sideswipe replied, already shielding himself he stepped to the side so half his body was hidden by the foundation that held Raf and Jack. He ducked down an inch. Rafael sunk deeper into the couch cushion, attempting to dodge the conversation, while Hack stood at attention, fully trying to absorb the suitation.

"My Asinulator, you cretin, where is it? What have you done to it?" He demanded. Stepping towards the red autobot. Sideswipe gulped, his brother having abandoned him in his time of need. He looked down the hallway, towards where he had disappeared, if he took off now, he could possibly make it to the overhang before Ratchet could get to him.

Too bad the medic already saw that look in his optics. When Sideswipe sprang, Ratchet was already on him, he brought his foot down on the back of the twins knee as he passed, hard enough to do some damage; when it came to the Twins, taking it easy was never enough. Sideswipe cried out, and tripped foreword, but before he could hit the ground, the medic grabbed him by the plates on his helm, and ripped him backwords. He deposited the twin roughly on his backplates, then stomped down on his chassis with enough pressure to show he was not going anywhere. Sideswipe heaved out a vent from the force.

"Friendly fire!" Miko yelled happily, she brushed the towel across her body once then threw it onto the stairs, she ran up for a closer view. "Where is my Asinulator?" Ratchet demanded again, this time, much fiercer. Sideswipe whimpered, looking once more to hall, he saw Sunstreaker peeking out at him, amusement in his evil blue optics. He wasn't going to help, when it came to the medic, the twins couldn't help but poke at him... But sometimes, they couldn't handle what was to come. Sunny was saving himself.

Then, he replied, slowly looking up the medics frame. "You like being on top don'tcha?" He said defiantly. "Ain't nothing wrong with the big, -old- dominant type-" his vocalizer fizzled out when Ratchet grabbed him by his throat and dragged him to the stairs, he slammed him down, brought his foot down on the twins throat. "I will curb stomp you." He warned. "Don't toy with me."

"Ratchet." The calm warning voice came. Optimus made himself known, walking from his personal quarters. Ratchet looked to his leader, optic ridges bending down. Satisfy his urge, or listen to his Prime?

"He took something of mine and he's refusing to tell me where he put it." Ratchet said, practically begging. "Nothings ever gone missing. They show up and now it's missing. I need it for my project." It seamed his urge won, he let lose of Sideswipe for a single moment, then pressed down harder. "Now where is it?"

Sideswipe glared playfully, despite the mild pain he was in. "I'm a true autobot." He announced, chassis puffed. "I'll never give up that information, you'll have to kill me first then pick it out of my processor!"

"That can be arranged." Ratchet replied, almost too happily. He applied more pressure, Sideswipe choked. Optimus took a single step. "Ratchet. Enough." He demanded, Ratchet ignored him, actually ignored him. He applied just a tiny bit more pressure...

Sideswipe gasped, writhing like a worm on hot pavement. "Under... Have you tried looking ... under the... Berth?" Sideswipe rasped for air when Ratchet rewarded the mech by promptly releasing him from his hold, he turned and stomped over to the medical berth, and knelt down, pulling his tool out from beneath it. When he stood up, Sideswipe was long gone.

Ratchet sighed. He sat the tool down on his desk and prodded his forehelm with his thumb. "I don't need to remind you, that behaviors is unacceptable old friend." Optimus said, In a way that showed the medic he understood his reasonings. No one knew him better the Optimus, he was always a grumpy guy, but the violence, the easily perturbed behavior, it was adapted only for Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. He only acted that way because of them. He didn't know why, he probably never would. But no one ticked him off more then the terror twins.

"I'm sorry Optimus." He replied, looking back towards where they had escaped to. "Are you going to make me apologize?" He continued tentatively. Optimus narrowed his optics at him, and with perhaps a bit too much mirth, he said. "Yes."

Two hours had passed, nether showed their face. The humans relaxed, their guardians, relaxed, But Ratchet, he was still on edge. He paced back and forth processor trying to muddle through a series of things he could say to Sideswipe, none of them the apologies Optimus was looking for. When he finally gathered the courage, he took a long intake, then made his way to their room.

He stood in front of the door, dully aware of Optimus turning every now and again to watch him from his common perch. He reached up, at least three times in attempt to knock, but failed each time. His face pulled back in a look of determination, then, with more effort then it should have taken, he knocked.


End file.
